Premature ejaculation is defined as
rapid ejaculation that occurs following sexual stimulation and has the
following key features:
Lack of control over ejaculation
Sexual dissatisfaction, distress and frustration of sufferer and their wives.
Premature ejaculation can be
psychological and/or biological and can occur because of over-sensitive
genital skin, hyperactive reflexes, extreme arousal or infrequent sexual
activity. Other factors are genetics, guilt, fear, performance anxiety,
inflammation and/or infection of the prostate or urethra and related to
the use of alcohol or other substances.
PE can be lifelong or acquired and
sometimes occurs on a situational basis. Lifelong PE is thought to have a
strong biological component. Acquired PE can be biological, based on
inflammation/infection of the reproductive tract or psychological, based
upon a situational stressor.
PE can sometimes be related to erectile
dysfunction, with the rapid ejaculation brought on by the desire to
climax before losing the erection. Emphasis on ejaculation as the focal
point of sexual intercourse tends to increase the performance anxiety
that can initiate the problem.
Once PE has occurred and established
itself, fear of and mental preoccupation with the issue can actually
induce unwanted rapid ejaculation, creating a vicious cycle.
Premature ejaculation is also an
ejaculation that happens too soon for a man and his partner to enjoy
sex. There are two types of premature ejaculation: lifelong (or primary)
and acquired (or secondary).
Lifelong PE starts early on, usually
when you are a teenager experiencing first sexual contact. It is harder
to treat and often has deeper psychological causes. Bad habits may also
contribute (such as masturbating to ejaculate as fast as possible in
order to avoid getting caught).
Acquired PE happens later in life and is
usually triggered by either psychological (stress or relationship
issues) or physical causes (diabetes or high blood pressure).
10 ways to delay ejaculation
There are a wide range of “home-made” remedies for premature ejaculation.
One … Have sex frequently.
Two … Never neglect or
ignore good foreplay from your wife. This should be done a couple of
hours before sex and be done satisfactorily. Longer foreplay can help
increase satisfaction of your wife as well as delay your ejaculation.
Longer foreplay can improve your relationship by reducing
dissatisfaction, frustration and performance-related anxiety. Be aware
that the more pressure husbands feel during sex, the more likely they
are to suffer from PE. Communication will help both the husband and the
wife to overcome many issues and any discrepancy between your desires
and those of your wife. The heart of the game is to focus on other
sexual pleasures: this can decrease anxiety and help you gain better
control over your ejaculation. During foreplay, please note that it is
advisable for your wife to caress you with a dry hand, almost to the
point of ejaculation and then stop. Let her do this for like up to three
times and by the fourth time, you can actually ejaculate and rest a
bit. And repeat this often and after many sessions of practice, you will
gain some control. Then after a while, let her begin to increase the
stimulation, first using lubrication and her hands, then ask your wife
to increase the pressure, then try vaginal penetration. Consistent
practice will lead to results. Then avoid penetration for the first 15
minutes of lovemaking. Focus on other sexual play to take the pressure
off.
Three … Having sex with the woman on top put both the man and the woman in control of mastering the feel of rush of the sperm.
Four … If you are the
couples that use condoms, please do not use thicker condoms because a
thicker wall can decrease the sensitivity of the penis. Although some
husbands double the condoms in order to prevent premature ejaculation
[which works for some men], even with this, still make sure that the
condom is very light and not thick.
Five … Have a
behavioural strategic lifestyle-sex, this helps a lot. This is the act
of “start-stop” and “squeeze techniques” if you adapt this with all full
dedication, it often proves effective, although it may not provide a
long-term solution for some men whose premature ejaculation case has
gone on for long. This strategy life-style works wonder for men whose
premature cases are as a result of change in lifestyle such as over
indulgence in alcohol consumption, short time smoking, consumption of
brewed-gaseous-soda drinks, eating too much of processed food and
drinks, not having enough sleep, stress, having a known case of peptic
and gastric ulcer, taking ulcer medications, too much of pain relief
medications, having history of being affected with sexual transmitted
diseases even though cured but mostly such sexually transmitted diseases
always have side effect of premature ejaculation, having history of
eating too much of oily, salty and sugary food.
If you are in this category and you
religiously practise this behavioural strategic life-style-sex, it may
or can take a few months for you to overcome PE and many men have to
keep using them on a permanent basis.
On average, 50 to 95 per cent of men
using this sexual technique manage to overcome PE eventually. There is a
risk of relapse if there are significant changes in your sexual life,
especially if you feel anxious. In general, the sooner in life you learn
to master these techniques the better.
Six … You have to
engage the pelvic floor muscle training, strengthening the pelvic floor
muscle is one of the most effective ways to prevent the onset of
premature ejaculation and also to manage preexisting one. The pelvic
muscles, which support and help control the penis, have the ability to
short circuit premature ejaculation when they are actively engaged
immediately before ejaculation is allowed to occur.
For most men, these muscles are weak and
get weaker with age, increasing the likelihood of premature
ejaculation. A recent study found pelvic muscle exercise to be more
effective than medication in treating premature ejaculation. This can
also be called Kegel exercise. Kegel exercises strengthen the
pubococcygeus (PC) muscle, which contracts during orgasm; a well-toned
muscle means better control. (To locate the muscle: When you urinate,
tense up and interrupt the flow; what you’re clenching is the PC
muscle.) Do several sets of Kegels every day. This will heal all forms
of erectile dysfunction of any origin; it has proven 90 per cent
effective and it is highly recommended.
Seven … Down the tempo
or slow down! This technique requires you to slow the pace of pelvic
thrusting and varying the angle and depth of penetration before the
“point of no return.” When done in conjunction with engaging your pelvic
muscles, this approach becomes very effective. It cures all forms of
premature ejaculation, weak ejaculation, quick ejaculation, erectile
dysfunction and general male body weakness.
Eight … Pause-start
method. I usually advise that this method should follow the slow down
method simultaneously, because sometimes slowing the tempo may not be
most effective and if slowing the tempo is not sufficient to prevent the
PE, one may need to stop thrusting completely while maintaining
penetration in order for the ejaculatory “urgency” to go away. Once the
sensation to ejaculate subsides, pelvic thrusting may be resumed. Again,
engaging the pelvic muscles once you’ve stopped thrusting helps to
greatly reduce the sensation.
nine … You don’t want
to joke with the squeeze technique which was originated by Masters and
Johnson, it is as simple as observing what goes on down below. Note that
as imminent ejaculation approaches, the penis is withdrawn and the head
of the penis is squeezed until the feeling of ejaculation passes, after
which intercourse is resumed. Although effective, it however requires
frequent sexual interruption, which always makes many wives angry,
frustrated and uncooperative. It is also very awkward, stressful and
cumbersome and demands a very cooperative attitude from the wife. But it
is one of the most effective ways of totally eradicating premature
ejaculation and all erectile dysfunction challenges. The “squeeze”
technique works by squeezing the penis in the area between the shaft and
the glans (for about 30 seconds), just before you are about to
ejaculate. This stops the ejaculation, but may affect your erection, at
least until you are stimulated again. You should then repeat this
process 4-5 times until you decide not to delay orgasm anymore. To be
effective, this method has to be used for several months and it requires
great perseverance from the man and his wife.
The idea behind the
“squeeze” technique is that, after a while, you are able to recognise
the “point of no return” and may be able to delay future ejaculations.
This technique may be frustrating though as it can disrupt sexual
activity. But remember this is by far the simplest technique and can be
done alone or with your wife. The technique involves stimulating the
penis and stopping just before you feel you are about to ejaculate. Stop
the stimulation for 30-60 seconds and start again once you feel that
you have regained control. Repeat this process 4-5 times, stopping and
“resting” every time you feel that you are about to have an orgasm.
Finally, let the ejaculation occur, so that you can identify the “point
of no-return”.
Many couples complain, however, about
the inconvenience of this “game” and find it frustrating. Try to
incorporate it smoothly into sex and take advantage of the pauses to
focus on sources of pleasure other than the penis. The rule of the game
is having sex until you feel close to ejaculation. At that point, gently
squeeze the end of the penis (where the “head” meets the shaft) for
several seconds. Stop having sex for 30 seconds, and then start again.
Repeat this pattern until you want to ejaculate.
Ten … The world has
gone so advanced now that we are advised to seize the opportunity and
make the best use of all available information and resources so when all
is done and you think there is no improvement, kindly talk to an
expert. Since premature ejaculation can have psychological origin,
talking to a sexual therapist can be an excellent approach. Remember
guys, there is nothing wrong with talking about our sexual health – in
fact, we should do more of it! Besides when all fails, a good sex
therapist advice on natural herbs still works wonders.
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