Do you know how much hugging and cuddling your partner needs before and after intercourse? How about the sexual fantasies each partner nurtures? Paying a little extra attention to our sex life may be all it takes to transform it to an intense experience. Couples put lots of efforts into their career, friendship and parenting-they read books and improve on all other areas in their lives. Well, that is not a bad idea at all. But good sex requires the same level of learnt information and attention, which means making time for sex matters a lot.
Hug each other for 20 seconds each day and flirt with each other. Even when there isn’t time for sex, make sure your mate knows you want to have one with him or her at any possible time. Leave a romantic message on your partner’s phone or e-mail. Daydream about making love to your spouse while doing the laundry, dishes, and while at work or during your free time and so on. Once in a while, while getting ready for bed, light a scented candle and play romantic music on the radio or CD player. This is one of the best firework stimulants. Anytime the opportunity arises, give your spouse a one-minute shoulder rub. Go as far as renting a romantic movie and watch it together after the children might have retired to their rooms. One of the secrets of sexual firework is that the fervour, closeness and passion must never be taken for granted because one in three men wishes their wives were better in bed.
Be generous outside of the bedroom with foot rubs, shoulder rubs and loving words. Little signs of affection can build up and put you both in a mood that you weren‘t necessarily expecting. Do you bathe together? It is not a bad idea before bed time, seeing the glistening body of each other is not only sexy; it sparks raw fire. No harm happens to the marriage union when partners play together. It helps keep the mind fit, relieves stress and provides opportunity to work as life partners. It builds camaraderie and spices things up in the bedroom. Note that while playing together, wives should remember to put on seductive underwear. Most men like attractive colours, especially the ones that are seductively designed.
Don‘t forget to break away from the children‘s grip and everyday life chores by eloping out once or twice a year; it enables couples to loosen up and focus on themselves once in a while. Go ahead, become each other‘s baby and share yester-years’ stories. Remember you can‘t sit around waiting for someone to make you happy, and that goes for sexual happiness too. When there is a raise in salary, the arrival of a new car or something new and special happens in the family, you can think up an extraordinary way of celebrating it.
Pay yourselves compliments as women expect and need compliments as much as men. If he knows that you think he’s sexy, he’ll try harder in bed to please you and prove that you’ re right. With one compliment a week, firework flame comes alive.
In all you do as a couple, put sex first because there is no substitute for sex. Let it top your day-to -day priority. It’s harder to find time together when the children are either toddlers or teenagers-they stay up later than you do and most times know what you are up to. So, sometimes you have to put your relationship first before the children; that could mean sneaking into the visitor’s room, the pent house or the master bedroom bathroom to have a short warm sexual escapade together. And it’s worth it. The fact remains that when these children are long gone, it is what both of you practise now that you will continue to do. So, don’t ignore your day-to-day activities and hide-and-seek-game. If both of you are not sexually naughty now, you may both bore yourselves to death when they are long gone.
It is of topmost importance to husbands to know that their wives need them sexually. And these husbands want to come home to a ‘pure’ outlet. It does not matter if the wife is pregnant, nursing a baby or has reached menopause. Sensitivity and compromise must be a watchword here.
As far as a man is concerned, intense sexual relationship with their wives is more of physical and emotional tranquiliser; it enables them to relax afterwards. They solve life issues better subsequently after sex, become calm and relaxed. A sexually fulfilled man is a better giver, better lover and a better dad.
Therefore, pregnant and nursing wives should know that the sexual desire of their husbands is basically a matter of hormonal functions and regulations. It is also ever-present and they need the physiological release. So, when a wife at any stage of motherhood maintains an enthusiastic sexual interaction in the marriage relationship, her husband feels more secured and desirable as he grows older. Such husbands are better fathers, providers and home makers. In all you do, put sex first if you want the firework back!!!
Questions and Answers
What is the appropriate time to teach children about sex?
In this jet age, when everything is computerised, what is the appropriate age suitable to teach children about sex?
Mr. Matins Paul
Different strokes for different folks, all children are not alike. But parents’ primary focus each time they want to start introducing sex education to each child or children in general is to be a real friend. It is very easy to pass any message across to someone you have already won his or her confidence, friendship trust and love. Such fellow will not only accept whatever idea you are bringing but will believe your idea is the best. This is one of the tricks of rapists and child molesters. They first become so friendly with the child that it will be so difficult for the child to break away even when he or she knows the act is not right. So be a friend, hero and confidant to your child. Then the next step is to be able to understudy the child’s peculiarity; that is his level of smartness, exposure, and area of interest. Also know his circle of friends, his special games and aspirations. Then study his pattern of questions. Now, while studying his pattern of questions, make sure you are not reprimanding him or curtailing his originality. Whenever you choose to start, always make the subject matter appear as if it is not really a big deal. When you put up a face and action that look too serious, they mostly back off and keep quiet.
Is sharing rooms with our children a subtle form of child abuse?
My husband has two teenagers from his previous marriage while I have one from my previous marriage. We are newly weds sharing just a bedroom apartment with these teenagers. My question is to what extent is caressing in front of these children healthy since we cannot afford a bigger place for now and the passion for sex is very high between my husband and I? Is it safe sharing rooms with these kids? How healthy is it caressing in front of children? As parents, is it safe sharing rooms with our children? Is this a subtle form of child abuse?
Mrs. Sunday Saheed
You might not be able to afford the type of accommodation you desire but the point is this, even when you are in a seven-bedroom apartment, you may still dress up in the presence of your children or caress in front of them or make love around them. So the issue is not the number of rooms but making sure you create a sex safe environment for them. Do not unnecessarily expose them or allow thoughts cloud their minds through your actions. There are better ways to have passionate sex without giving the teenager a clue of your actions such as bathing together at the same time, having sex while bathing. If you make bathing together a couples’ habit, they may not be aware you are having sex whenever you do. Or have a quick one when they are away on errand or in school.
My big boy always has an erection while accessing the internet.
I am a woman with three boys aged five and seven. In order not to disturb me with their endless demands and questions whenever I am attending to daily house chores, I bought some games for them with internet facilities. But recently, I discovered that my big boy always has an erection while playing game or accessing the internet. Please how can I intervene because even when I stop him, he goes to his friend’s house and still comes home with an obvious hard on. Help me!!!
Worried single parent
Unfortunately most of the games for our children have been programmed with one form of sexual act or the other. As a matter of fact, even the Facebook and Twitter are so overpopulated that our children are not only exposed to sexual perversions and pornography, but also are in daily contact with sex perverts and rapists. These elements using the platforms are growing in number per micro minute. The number of sexual assault cases related to both social media sites has reached incredible heights; and half of those cases involve victims under the age of 16. Even when you try to stop them, they quickly defend it by saying that it is a “harmless” chat. But chatting between your child and a stranger is not harmless. Some of those chatting channels encourage young children especially girls to swap sexually explicit images on their mobiles or games or some adults grooming these children to view extreme or violent pornography. This year, Facebook hit a billion users after nine years in action and Twitter increased its audience from 1.5 million to 10 million in the last four years. The bottom line: Almost everyone is on Facebook; having a Facebook account is becoming equivalent to having Internet access – and that naturally means plenty of sexual exposures and crimes. As much as there’s really no way for Facebook to control who joins, you have to create a way of making your children realise its negative effects on their lives, future and total well-being. This will naturally prevent them from being deliberately exposed.
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